More of the Bennett sister's random thoughts on love

Being in control of things is always nice. At least, for me. This doesn't hold true for other people- there are some who enjoy being out of control and don't mind when things aren't in their own control. As for me, however, I like being in my little comfort zone. It's like a box marked around me in chalk, and when things get outside of that box, I do not like it.

Take the weather today, for instance. It was freezing cold in the morning, and later it was blisteringly hot. I don't mind either extreme; I live somewhere where I should be pretty used to both by now. But I'd rather be inside my dorm room, where I can control whether I'm hot or cold. If I'm in a situation where I'm not able to make it hot or cold, I freak. Quite irrational, but hey, that's me.

Love is kind of the same way for me. It's not something I like to be in, because it's a situation in which I have absolutely no control. As with the weather, I find myself in one of two extremes: either too hot or too cold. Neither are pleasant situations for me to be in.

My love life is divided into those two categories. The guys I fall in love with (at present count, this is only two, but still) never love me back, or if they do, they aren't very sure about it: I feel too much. The other extreme is just as bad- all the wrong guys fall in love with me and I don't feel the same way: I feel too little. Too hot, too cold. No control.

I'd much rather have love be a clean-cut, neatly labeled situation. Kind of like a chemistry equation (there you go, Jane). This person plus this person equals love. Cue the golden sunshine halos and white doves. Jane repeatedly explained to me patiently that this doesn't happen in real life. In response to which I throw a tantrum.

So, with the absence of the halos and white doves, how do you know when you've met The One? Because I thought I did, twice. And both times, I was dead wrong. At this point, I'm viewing every guy I meet as a prospective One. I somehow doubt this is the right approach. So what is, then?

Life needs to be more like chemistry, I think.