Harsh Realities

I'm staring out the window. I have been for a while now. I dimly remember my roommate going to bed a little while ago. Outside, there are no stars showing, only the moon and a vast, dark expanse. I'm beginning to get a little tired, but I don't want to go to bed. I don't even really want to move- I just want to sit here at my computer, staring out the window and typing a few sentences whenever they cross my mind.

There's so much going on in my life, but inside I feel empty. I should feel full. There are so many reasons for me to feel happy and full. But that one reason for me to feel heartbreakingly sad and empty seems to be outweighing all those good reasons. It seems pointless to go to sleep when all I have to look forward to tomorrow is another day of dancing around the subject, avoiding him, and feeling this heartbreak. I can't go back, and it doesn't seem like I can go forward, so where else is there to go? Down into depression? This seems to be my favored direction at the moment. The only direction, at the moment.

I suppose there's always piracy. Now that I think about it, piracy really does sound better and better. I'm sure whelps such as HE are put to death quite quickly on the high seas. It's sounding better and better the more I think about it... perhaps I'll quit college tomorrow and take up a life of pillaging and plundering. Adventure, treasure, and swashbuckling. It's really quite appealing.

Probably less stressful, too. I'm sure pirates don't have to spend every waking moment writing papers and translating things from dead languages. I wonder, does one have to have a specific level of education to take up piracy? I'm sure I'd meet the requirements. Surely they don't have terribly high SAT standards. I might fall a little below average in the experience department, but I'm sure I could kill enough brooding Darcies in the first week of my employment as a pirate to make up for THAT.

Not that brooding Darcies even get off their high horse long enough to set sail on a ship. That's too common and low for them. Plus, it's easier to brood from inside a dorm room. Seemingly, much much easier....

Also, I'd have those student loans paid off like that. I'd be able to save up plenty of money for my England trip in May with Jane (squee!!), and I'd be able to save up money for the dig in June. I wouldn't get any attitude from crappy friends who aren't there for you when you need them. Pirates always have their fellow pirate's backs, I'm sure. Unless they're running to save theirs.

Plus, I bet piracy has a great dental plan.